I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
MIDGETS
????
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
