Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...