I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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