Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic