I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
