i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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