therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
