He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
