blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Is it penis luge time yet?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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