Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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