i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
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