My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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