You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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