Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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