Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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