Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
