You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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