do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
