just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
