how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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