Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i think i have two assholes
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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