was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
