just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
