She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
