he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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