i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
