it's too hot outside to masturbate.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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