And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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