i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
