Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
