forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
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he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
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You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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