I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize