i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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