Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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