its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
