Apparently you make a good broom.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
This baby is an asshole
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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