Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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