My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
