did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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