I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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