You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Randomize
