I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
