I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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