Those balls look pretty dangerous.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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