Heybabeimwearingurpanties
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
it glows. i had to have it.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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