we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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