1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
