explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
