Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
