He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
