Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize