worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
