Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
