Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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