Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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