Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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