You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
