We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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