sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
soo... how was my night?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
